Today’s lesson was about getting started. It’s all about the drama!
Secrets & LiesComments:
My friend Bill has just separated with his girlfriend of 22 years. They have 2 houses and one boy in primary. He never spoke of being unfaithful and wouldn’t go into much detail about what happened. I’ve known them both for the same amount of time, so I’m wondering what went on behind closed doors. How many times had they put their face on to receive me as a guest on my regular Wednesday pizza and video night. I had no idea, it came out of the blue. Had a call from Bill today saying he has moved into her house in London with his brothers. The house is owned by her and she is living in his house in Berkshire. It’s going to be complicated.
- Clearly aligned with the boy.
- Female has no name.
- Narrator is a character.
- Present tense.
- Use of clichés. “Out of the blue” & “behind closed doors". Usually not advised but narrator was honest enough to carry it off.
- Drama. Lots of questions. why are there 2 houses? Why are they living in each others’ houses? why did they separate?
The ChairComments: Not read aloud. The homework was to create a beginning and write an opening scene.
Sitting on my chair. It’s comfortable but my back is cold. Everyone has the same chair; I wonder if their backs are cold. Maybe it’s just because the windows are behind me. Only teacher and I have our legs crossed. Everyone’s chair is the same faded maroon except teacher’s chair. It looks newer. Why does he get a new chair? Can I have a new chair? If I ask can I get one? Probably not! Just a student. As long as we keep paying out nine grand they don’t care. Bums on seats; that’s all they care about. They didn’t even tell us teacher was going away.
Beads of sweat rolled off the end of my nose. Bill hasn’t phoned back yet. He said he’d call by five. He’s late. They don’t tolerate tardiness. I heard rumours from Harry about these guys. “Anything you want, is only a phone call away", he kept saying. “Just don’t forget to thank the cardinal", he would always add as a throw-away line. We thought he was joking, who the hell can find a cardinal around this god forsaken place. “Briing” the loud bell from the factory resonated through the walls. I snatched the phone as if it were a rope from my rescue boat. “Bill?", I shouted. “Yeh", he mumbled with a low huskie voice. “Well?", I enquired. “You never went to see the cardinal, did you?". “Couldn’t find one Bill". “Syler, won’t be happy. Harry said he’ll try to soften him up before the exchange". “Thanks", I said. “That’ll cost you extra. You know it’ll be more dangerous now without the cardinal’s blessing".
- Plenty of questions raised.
- Wondering what is going down.
- Is it legal?
- Good mixture of narrative and dialogue.
- 4 or 5 characters introduced very quickly.
- Each character has a goal.
- Drama in it straight away.
- Wonderful 1st sentence. The teacher said this :)