Flatpack has fallen in love with Imogen Moffat, and he goes to see the English professor Matt Beer in order to get some hints on how to woo her. Matt Beer:

Think surf and turf.
Women are the sea, the surf. Their minds are always shifting, their bodies, like the tide, are ruled by the pull of the moon. Women have hidden depths where dark and dangerous things lurk, but in their shallows, you’ll be safe. Never go in deeper than your knees, but if you want more, you have to be prepared to venture out of your depth, where in all likelihood you will get sucked down by a vicious undercurrent and swept out into the endless black ocean of the female psyche where, sadly, you will drown.
Men are the turf. Thick, solid sods of earth that get under your nails. What you see is what you get.
You have been paddling too long. You must put on your water wings and explore her hidden depths.